


I Wasn't That Drunk

by all_the_angels



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Drinking, M/M, New Years, Party, drunk, drunk singing is the best, drunk!Patrick, ive never been drunk before so.., paper plates, tagging help lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/all_the_angels/pseuds/all_the_angels
Summary: Patrick gets drunk at a New Year's party and leaves Pete to take care of him for once.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been drunk before, so I don't really know.... Lol. XD I started this like at the end of October and forgot about it during NaNo, so I forgot where I was going with this. Don't ask, I was having so much fun. Lol.

\---

"Anddddddddddddd, here we go!" A very, very drunk Patrick shouted from the top of his powerful lungs, before belting out into an off-tuned round of singing. "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the walllllllll, ninety-ten bottles of beeeeeeer! You take 'em down" he paused to hiccup, "pass the crown, something-something of something on the . . . the . . ."

"Wall," Joe helpfully informed him, not quite as drunk as him but clearly entertained by his friend. "It's wall. And you started over. Again. You were on eighty-six."

Patrick gave him a long stare, blinked, and then started giggling. "Oh? Well then . . . Eighty-teen bottles of beeeeeeeeeer on the waaaaaaaaaaall, eighty-teen beers of bottle on the wottle! You take one down . . . down, in an earlierrrrrrr rrrrrroundddddd! And sugar-" he draped his arm around Joe, nearly poking the taller man's eye before succeeding. "Yo, Joe? Have you ever heard that song before?"

Patrick's words were slurred and he had a bottle in his hand, his most recent one. He'd had so many that Joe, who had been with him most of the time at the new years party, lost count and lost the contest to see who could down the most alcohol the quickest. Surprisingly enough, Patrick beat both him and Brendon, even though Patrick hardly ever drank. Apparently he was in a party mood, because he certainly did drink.

"Yeah, a couple times," Joe replied, sipping his own beverage and watching as Patrick swayed on his feet to the beat of the music blasting from the speakers across the room.

The shorter man looked Joe in the eyes with the most sincere expression he could muster, his green-blue eyes sparkling in the lights. "Well, the people who sang it . . . they're fuckin' awesome man. I . . . I had the 'ppurtunity to see them? Once? Twice? And they were fuckin' awesome."

He dissolved once again into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, short and breathy laughs that were a trademark of his. He nearly doubled over in laughter, almost pulling Joe down with him.

"Hey, Patrick, why don't we go find Pete and have him take you home?" Joe suggested to him. "You really don't need to drink anymore or else Andy will beat my ass for letting you get any more drunk than this."

"I ain't drunk!" Patrick insisted, recoiling his arm from around Joe's neck and using it to support his other hand and the bottle of beer, raising it to his lips. He failed at pouring it into his mouth, and most of it ended up on his shirt, dribbling down to the floor. "I'm jus' a little high. Yeah, that's it! Come on, Joe, my man! Sing with meeeeee! We areeeeeeeeeeeee wild! We are like raw potatoes!"

At this perfect point in time, Pete dodged through the thick crowd of party-goers and arrived at the two of them, smiling widely. His smile turned to slight confusion when he saw Patrick in his state.

"'Trick? I thought you didn't get drunk?" Pete said rehtorically, not really expecting his drunk friend to give an understandable answer.

"I'm not drunking!" Patrick put his right hand in the middle of his chest and tried to stand straighter, ending up nearly crashing onto the floor had Joe not caught him. "On my honor!"

Pete looked to Joe and the latter shrugged. They'd both seen Patrick get drunk numerous times, and also had been reprimanded by him on many occasions for getting drunk at a party and making him have to take care of them. Patrick was the least expected to get drunk at a party like this, but Pete knew that the stress of working on their album had been getting to him, and that he'd seen this part as a relief. So perhaps Pete thought it was okay for him to get a little drunk. But this was pushing "a little".

"Um, how about we get home, 'Trick?" Pete said, prying him away from where he had begun to hold on tightly to Joe, a failed attempt at a friendly hug while still holding the bottle. "You're going to have such a horrid hangover in the morning . . ."

Patrick rolled his eyes and turned his attention to hanging onto Pete, lazily running his hands very innopropiately on Pete's body, trying to place a drunken kiss on his cheek. "I already told you! I'm not druuuuuunk!"

With some persuasion - ok, quite a lot, to be honest - both boys, Joe and Pete, managed to take the beer from Patrick and get him outside, into the parking lot. It took the two men to support him, and he wasn't making it easy for them.

"This one time," Patrick said, giggling and swaying against the two men's hold, "This one time a friend of mine - hey, where are we going? Where's the music? The dancing? The . . . the beer?" They arrived at the car and Pete let go long enough to open the passenger door ahead of time. "Oh, am I going home with you, oh-so-hot sir?"

This time it was Pete who rolled his eyes and made an over exaggerated and dramatic bow, a gesture into the car. Patrick batted his eyes, which made it look like he got something caught in them instead of flirtatious, but allowed himself to be pushed in and buckled up.

"Are you sure you have got him?" Joe asked after the door was closed on Patrick's loud, slurred singing. "He's pretty far gone at this point."

"Nah, man, I've got him," Pete assured him. "Thanks for watching over him tonight. See you next week?"

Joe nodded. "Yep. See you then. I'll text in the morning, see how much Patrick regrets getting that drunk."

Pete went around the side of the car and opened the driver's door, sliding in and closing it beside him. Patrick was giving him a goofy grin, excitedly patting his legs and bouncing around. 

"I am soooooo flattered that you are driving me home, kind sir," Patrick said, ending up doubled over in his seat laughing. He seemed to crack himself up more than anything else, and Pete was amused by this.

Driving back home was only slightly difficult because the man in the passenger's seat was trying to bend get around his seat belt, trying to sit in a position where he could easily sit with his chin sitting on his hands, his arms on his knees. At almost every stoplight they came to, Pete had to reach over and press him back into a normal, safe position to sit. It was becoming annoying, but it was made worthwhile when Patrick finally folded his arms and leaned back, pouting with his bottom lip pushed out.

"I wanna drive," Patrick said after thirty seconds of silence. "I wanna drive home."

"No, you don't. Not in your condition," Pete grinned and winked at him, making his childish frown deepen. 

"I wanna drive by myself!" Patrick yelled, waving his arms madly. "I wanna drive -" 

He stopped short when something on the floor of Pete's not-so-clean car caught his eye, bending over again, but this time to pick it up. He straightened with a triumphant look, holding in his hand a paper plate. 

"I can too drive home," Patrick said to Pete, holding his nose high in the air. "Jus' watch me."

In that way, with Patrick turning his paper plate left and right, twirling it around in circles and dropping it several times, and Pete trying to focus on the road and not on Patrick's own 'driving', they drove home.

When Pete pulled into the driveway, cut the engine, and went to open Patrick's door for him, he found him giggling - again - and looking at the house. Nothing else. 

"Ahoy, mateys! We've reached land!"

\---

Pete led him through the house, having to hold his shoulders from behind, gripping him just strong enough that he couldn't twist away. Patrick was clearly more out of it at this point, but as he hadn't passed out yet Pete was wanting to hurry so he could clean him up before that happened.

Passing the living room, Patrick paused, making Pete nearly crash into him. He had another fit of laughter that wasn't rare tonight at all. 

"Have you seeeeeen that show?" Patrick asked, pointing a swaying finger in the direction of the TV. "It's the best! I could watch it allllllllllllllllll day!"

"Patrick, the TV isn't even on," Pete said, urging him forward again. 

Patrick gasped loudly but moved ahead, much to Pete's pleasure. "He knows my name! The kind sir that brought me to his house knows my name!"

When they had finally reached the bedroom with the connecting bathroom - which was an extremely hard task, with Patrick stopping every few moments to compliment 'Pete's' grand house or talk about how pleasant the weather was tonight - Pete sighed with relief.

Patrick moved to lie down on the single bed in the room, but Pete stopped him, much to his drunk confusion. He looked down at the bed, up at the man who was only a few inches taller than him and prohibiting him from laying down, back to the bed, only to return to Pete again.

"Why, may I politely inquire, are you gripping my arms so rudely and stopping me from laying in your bed?" Patrick asked in as clear a voice as he could manage. "I would very much like it if you didn't stop me, for I feel the sudden urge to lie down. Perhaps we could -"

"You're nasty as hell, 'Trick," Pete said, motioning to the mess all over his clothing, with the spilled beer soaking the front of his shirt and a good portion of his pants. "You need a bath before you can go to sleep. Believe me, you'll be happy that you cleaned up tonight rather than tomorrow."

Patrick looked like he was going to argue, but Pete was already pushing him into the bathroom. "Here, I'll help you undress once I get the water running."

Patrick's eyes lit up and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Pete before remarking, "Oh, we only just met. Don't you think it's a little early for that?"

"Patrick, you've been my best friend for who knows how long and my boyfriend for almost two years," said Pete, planting his hands on his hips and staring at him with an almost-smile. "I don't think that's too early."

"Oh," was the only thing Patrick said in reply before bursting out into giggles again and beginning to undress, fumbling with his shirt and unable to get it over his hat, which had stayed on during this entire event by some miracle, leaving Pete to help him.

After Patrick was all washed up, we won't even go into detail on what happened during that time, had thrown up a couple of times, and Pete took him to the bed they shared, he stared at Pete with his brilliant, blue and green eyes, a sleepy, overly-drunk smile still on his face.

"You know what?" Patrick whispering, making Pete lean in to hear him. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Good thing," Pete replied back in a whisper. "Because I think I've already fallen for you."

Despite Patrick being drunk as hell and would probably hate Pete in the morning and rant about hating getting drunk, he still wouldn't trade it for anything. Because drunk Patrick, as it turned out, was just as perfect as any other version of his wonderful boyfriend.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, that's wasn't ... too bad? I got most of the ideas from 'I wasn't that drunk' text posts I found on Instagram, so I can't take credit for them. But we need more drunk!Patrick in the world. And fluff. Hehe. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! It would mean so much to me if you left a kudo and comment! <3 :D


End file.
